So-
I was jerking off the other day and it occured to me: The world has really lost any real kind of privacy. These days anyone can be found doing anything right out in the open. And thanks to all the reality shows the world has become one permanent invasion of personal space.
I realized this might be the reason I can’t establish any sort of relationship between myself and a lady. I mean, any girl that I have spent any period of time with has found a way to judge me within 13 seconds of our meeting. Thanks to shows like Elimidate and Next (sorry Jessica…) impressionable youths are learning that if you don’t like the person within the span of seven minutes and a commercial break, then they are probably not worth getting to know.
On top of that, how does one compete with websites advertising true love being only "a click away"? Even if you’ve got a crappy dial-up service, a click, at most, is only going to take a minute or two. Have you ever tried to show your fears, loves, beliefs, interests, convicitons, turn-ons and turn-offs in two minutes? It’s freaking difficult.
Then I thought- well maybe in this day and age we have just simplified so much that, in fact, it is possible to judge a person in a matter of seconds. Maybe I am just a big dick….
"No! Fuuuuck that!" I thought. "I’m a man who has a lot to offer and if you’re not interested in taking the time to get to know me, well, go to hell. I can’t be judged by a mere glance."
Let me tell you, it’s a hard decision to go against the tide. But somebody has to say let’s take back our privacy so we can go back to being interested in exploring the many caverns of the enigmatic human race rather than having them shot at us in between fourteen ads for cover girl and axe body spray. And with that thought I decided to stop jerking off…
…although, now that I think about it, it might have been because this inconsiderate bastard started banging on the glass of the phone booth…
-A
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