Madrid, Spain
An international conference was held today to discuss the fate of Rap music and it’s portrayal in the media. Rappers from all across the globe gathered to discuss what direction they believed rap music must take if it is to survive as a legitimate art form.
The impetus for this conference came in response to late rapper, Tupac Shakur’s, latest album release last week. Shakur, best known for his poetic lyrics about the hardships of ghetto life and struggling to raise a socially conscious family, was gunned down mysteriously in Las Vegas, Nevada 10 years ago. "Tupac was good," says rapper CashHoBallz, "But the thing he didn’t realize is rap has got places to go."
"Pac just didn’t focus on the things that was important," says french rapper Le Cock. "Now take me, for example. I got like forty billion dollars. It’s my duty to make music about how I got forty billion dollars and make videos of me showing myself enjoying said forty-billion dollars. It’s like, my responsibility, and shit."
"Shit," interjected Asian rapper, Ching-Bling. "It’s, like, people don’t know that I’s the best rapper in this game so you know I gots to make like at least 3 albums that chronicle that shit." Bling and Cock went on to argue for several minutes afterwords over whose skills were the "maddest."
Firmly backing up both the rap stars and their asses was the "Ho" faction. "Damn, I got to get paid," said video music star Titty Nipples. "You think my ass is about to got out and get some 9-5 at McDonald’s or some shit? Hell no. I got double-d’s and this thick piece of rump roast that all those fools want to break a piece off. You know I’m gonna cash in on that shit." When asked how she responds to the claim that some believe objectifying women in music videos is setting the women’s movement back to the time of Susan B. Anthony Nipples claimed "Ain’t that the bitch on the money? Damn, that ho musta done something right."
The bottom line according to these rappers is apparently that what Tupac didn’t understand is people "don’t give a fuck about learning shit." Says new Rap star Imprizonedd: "I got mor monee, mor biches, and mor skilze then any other muthafucka in thys plase. You think I rapp to hear miself tawk? Yure dam rite I do and you can kwote my ass."
Entries (RSS)