Local Man Predicts Future, Retroactively
Posted by: velvetpenguin in Current Affairs, True StoriesFish Creek, WI
Thomas Foster is a well-known hermit in Fish Creek. He never reads a paper, he doesn’t own a television, and he is completely unfamiliar with the computer. In fact, he only makes a public appearance in town for his morning cup of coffee. “He just orders a cup a black,” says Roasters waitress Tracy Brewster. “And he just sits there muttering to himself about this and that. A real cheap tipper, too. I never paid him no mind until now.”
83-year-old Foster, once labeled a coot and a malcontent, has suddenly become a celebrity in Fish Creek because he knows something. Something you probably know about now, but he knew about all along. This is because Foster has an uncanny knack for predicting that which has already happened.
Labeled a modern-day Nostradamus, people are coming from far and wide to hear his daily updates on things which might have been avoided had people listened only to him in the first place.
After sitting with the man for just thirty-seconds, Foster’s gift becomes apparent. “One thing I always been telling people,” says Foster, “is you can’t trust the Government because they are going to screw you if you let ‘em. You got to keep your money under your mattress or they sure as hell are gonna take it from you.”
With the recent recession, job slump, and housing crisis, it’s hard to argue with this postdiction.
Perhaps this one tidbit might be a coincidence, you say? Consider Foster’s next revelation: “If I told ‘em once, I told ‘em a million times. Sure the oil was cheap, but it was gonna go up. It always does.”
Sure enough, this past week has seen a rise in oil prices. Truly chilling.
And what about international events? After hearing about N. Korea and the rest of the world, Foster furrowed his brow and pensively exclaimed: “Awww, I knew it. I just knew it.”
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